The results

Sooooo I didn't pass my oral comprehensive exam, but I also didn't fail....complicated, I know.

Our oral comprehensive exam consists of three phases.

Phase 1: I do a 40 minute presentation about my proposed research project. I have spent years developing settling on the final project and now I have to put it out there for the research community to scrutinize. Anyone and everyone is invited. Faculty, students and even family and friends if they wanna come.

Phase 2: Said audience can ask me anything they desire. Most of the questions come from the faculty. I am doing my research within the Physical Therapy department which means most of those faculty members show up to make sure quality research is coming out of their department. This part went beautifully, they asked questions about my research and I was able to come up with a good answer or explanation for everything. I could see my advisor sending me mental high fives.

Phase 3: The closed door session with my committee. I have five committee members; one being my advisor. The other four are chosen based on their expertise and its relationship to my project. They can ask me anything they think I should know....This phase goes on as long as my advisor lets it go....

They found a hole in one area of my knowledge.....Funny thing is, I went to my advisor several weeks prior and expressed that I was not confident with my knowledge in that area. My advisor assured me I was fine and to move on....VERY frustrating...

I didn't pass because my committee felt that I needed to fill this hole before proceeding. I didn't fail either....they are going to allow me to study for the next month and then I have to stand in front of my committee again so that they can make sure I have gained the necessary knowledge.

Initially I was devastated. I kept replaying the what ifs and wondering if I am really cut out for this shit. I had a few sleepless nights, but as the days passed I gradually put my world back together. After putting together a reading list with my committee, I am trying to see this more as an opportunity to improve myself.

I chose a group of people for my committee that would challenge me and make my project stronger. Now I have to step up to this challenge and "git r done". Neuro physiology can suck my big toe!

The GREAT part is that my project was accepted and in the midst of all the reading and studying I can start moving forward with the project.

I think there is a small flicker of light at the end of the tunnel....