Both of my college roomates now know that I'm gay. I had one tell the other. I came out to roomate #1 last summer. I was scared to tell roomate #2. She was the only friend that I was truly worried about her reaction. Her husband is a proclaimed homophobe and she had said some things that led me to believe that she wasn't very accepting of people who weren't like her...
She was absolutely fine. Completely accepting. And totally hurt.
If I put myself in her shoes, I get it. I would be absolutely devastated if I had given someone the impression that I would judge them or treat them differently based on their sexual preference (or anything).
From my perspective though. I was scared and I couldn't help that. Roomate #1 was even worried about it, and thus the reason she was willing to help me out.
I still feel a huge weight lifted off. I saw roomate #2 a month or so ago, and as always, I had to hold back part of my life from her. A huge part.
Several of the people I have come out to have been hurt by me not feeling like I could come to them immediately.
I try to tell them that it's me, not them. But they don't seem to get that.
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Props to you for coming out to your roomys!
ReplyDeleteHopefully they get over it quickly though ... so one scary one down onto the next.
ReplyDeleteWe should really be marking this with a celebratory drink :D
Big step, big weight off your shoulders! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI think about your blog alot-- and what you must be going through in your mind.. . in your heart.. and the stress that it would (at least for me) bring to my life.
I hope that you see more doors open and the possibility for conversations appear..
Casey
Coming out takes time and is a process. People need to know it isn't always about them...it is about you and your choice to come out.
ReplyDeleteGood for you!
Congrats on another step...and I have to echo what jelly said, it's about you and not them.
ReplyDeleteAwesome :)
ReplyDeleteThank you guys soo much!
ReplyDeleteCasey - It is stressful, i have to hide parts of myself everyday and I think about who i need to come out to almost everyday. One step closer though!
Jelly - Thank you for the reminder. I have such a hard time with this.
Haizey - when should I pick you up from the airport? I am gonna need that drink.
ReplyDeleteI totally get it. Coming out to people is hard, especially when you don't know the reaction. It's good that you have supportive friends...hopefully the other roommate will come to understand.
ReplyDeleteHey Kiddo...let them own their feelings. There's a reason why you weren't comfortable with telling certain people directly. You're doing great and yes, it feels wonderful to be out.
ReplyDelete