I think about coming out to my parents almost everyday....I talk to my parents everyday.
It is so hard to keep those two lives separate, yet the thought of coming out to them is overwhelmingly scary.
Yesterday I was talking to my roomate about how we need to have a sleep over out at her parents farm. Me and the GF (since her parents know I'm gay and love my GF) and my roomie and her parents. (yes we are all 28 and over and talking about a sleep over, but I am going to take my horse and we are all going to ride on their property). Anyhow, we were talking about how much her mom would LOVE to have us and would want to sleep upstairs with us and everything.
As crazy and annoying as my mom can be, she would LOVE to be involved with something like this. But because I am not out to her, I won't invite her. I won't allow her the opportunity.
I will graduate sometime this year and, though I would prefer not to, I may never live this close to my parents again. By not coming out to her, I(we) may be missing out on alot of opportunities to enjoy our time together.
She may have already figured things out and might just be waiting for me...
I think the balances are starting to tip, fear is slowly sinking while all of the reasons that I should come out to my parents are edging upward.
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Moms know, they always do. So you are right, she probably already does know is waiting. Heres to finding the strength to do what makes you happy. :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree that your mom probably already has an idea. I used to be very afraid of being rejected and so I stayed low key. I hated the fact that I always felt like I was holding back or hiding something when talking to people. Now that I've become more open, I feel those fears melting away everytime I "come out" and I feel more comfortable and happy everyday.
ReplyDeleteOooohh, it sounds to me that it is now simply a matter of time, though until it happens I know nothing is simple about coming out.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the strength to get there sooner than later Squirty I know how invasive these thoughts can be until you can get them out.
You know I'll be cheering you on anyway you need me to :) Hx
Dragon: Thanks. Moms do seem to always know! I hope I find the strength soon :).
ReplyDeleteMel: The holding back and hiding are really eating at me these days. It's good to know that those fears keep getting smaller.
Haizey: Thanks! I know you'll be there :)
You will find the strength to come out to your family.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard and a process for all involved, but once you do it you will feel awesome.
Best of luck!!
You can do it! I'm getting there too. :)
ReplyDeleteyes yes, you can do it! you'll feel so much better after you do, and it'll all be downhill from there. I mean that in a good way lol. I'm so proud of how far you've come already, and you should be too. Here's to you Squirty! Now let me know when I can come up for a fun filled annual weekend out with you! ;-)
ReplyDelete