Brandi aka Miss B aka Bright Eyes

Mom: Were you ever going to call me back?

Me: I just got your message, I'm driving to work.

Mom: Your uncle steve called.

Me: (did one of my aunts pass, they are so old and frail) AND...

Mom: Brandi died.

Me: WHAT?!?! Brandi died?

Mom: Yes.

Me: That doesn't even make sense.

Mom: She died last night.

Me: (Can't even cry yet, this just doesn't make sense) What happenend?

Mom: She was sick for few days just after christmas, they left her for a few hours yesterday and when they came back she had passed.

Of course, after she tells me this, she goes right into scrutinizing how my aunt and unlce are handling things. In my head, Im still trying to understand what my mom just told me. Brandi was only 32. We had seen her thanksgiving and she was just as healthy and vibrant as ever. She had a great smile and wore it all the time.

We weren't close, except once or twice a year, when my mom's side of the family gets together. Then we are like two peas in a pod. The last two unmarried young adult women, who of course, according to the rest of the family SHOULD be married with children. We would stand in the corner and crack jokes. For the last two years, we had been talking about her coming to richmond to visit. I hate that we never made that happen.

For a few days I was upset that I didn't get to know her better. That we didn't intersect outside of family gatherings. Everyone's stories of her made me sad that I didn't spend more time with such a great person. We spent more time together as children, but we hadn't really gotten to know each other well as young adults. We get so busy...This is why I love Facebook though. A couple of years ago we had become friends on facebook and we each got a little peak into each others lives. It made me want to reconnect. I got to see pictures of her dog and the new salon she helped put together that she worked in.

She was a such a warm person. People were drawn to her energy. And she had sense of humor and quick wit that made time with her joyous. Everyone around her couldn't help but smile. I am told she could sing like a bird. I don't have any memories of that. She had the most beautiful bright blue eyes that most people didn't beleive were real. Her daddy called her Bright Eyes.

I have decided that it is ok that I didn't have those memories that all those other people have. I have my own special memories...of us standing in the corner at thankgiving making snarky comments about the rest of the group. We were so different from them and thats what created our bond. One year she said "If they ask me one more time if I have found someone to marry, I'm going to tell them I am dating a black woman"! Which would have been fine for either of us, but would have made anyone elses head explode. (welcome to a super conservative, came over on the mayflower, white southern family) We giggled. I giggled. I wasn't out to her, but if I was going to come out to anyone in that family, it would have been her. I guess she knows now!

Anyhow, Brandi, i just want you to know that I am going to miss you terribly.....and your homemade twinkies, that you had been bringing to thanksgiving the past couple of years. Rest in peace.

There is probably some god awful picture of us as kids together. I'll leave you with these instead. Those eyes and that smile.